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Tuesday, 17 December 2013

Lost of drive.

Struggling to move, but something's holding me back.

It's the last 4 weeks. I just want it to quickly come and get and fuckem off from my life. 

Last 4 weeks to graduation. Last 4 fucking week. 

I don't really have much deliverables yet I m moving like a snail. Worse than a tortoise. 
I hated the graphics I am doing because it looks really weird and ugly. 
Really wanted to redo but it would take a hell long time. It's for graduation show. So ugly how to even put it up. 

Holding back here and there, stuck in the middle of no where, unable to move left nor right. Brain being mindfuck every single night, and I wish someone could just save me from all these shit. 

Flea stuffs haven't pack, stickers are not ready. Everything is not here not there, NOT ANYWHERE LIKE FUCK FUCK FUCK. I am blogging in the train on my way to school. 

I seriously hate this fucking last 5 weeks. First time pouring so many vulgar in my blog post but.. I am really not like this. Just the stress that makes me shit and I give shit. 

It's not easy to say just JIAYOU, just do. I HAD LOST ALL MY DRIVE TO FIGHT. 
There is a lot reasons why I did the fleas, perhaps in other people's eye, they would think that this women is just too greedy. 
There is more than this can. I got my own things that I need to pay and debts I need to pay. IF I DON'T PAY, YOU HELP ME PAY?
THe moment I say about money, my blood boils again. The final project would definitely spent at least $100+ as usual. $$$ fly. 

So mega EFF-ing pissed. I feel like setting the school on fire. 

And why the hell am I even SABO to be the leader in the committee as a publicity in charge. LIKE WHAT THE FUG. I never had any comments, never know how to voice, *erhem,cough* totally choose wrong person. 

I m never irresponsible, since its the last lap, YOLO, so if I cannot manage, I would have to play as a bad person, run away from the tasks. 
Too many commitments, one brain, one pair of hands, one body, one health. 

Side note for SELFISH PEOPO:
Yes, everyone has their own problems, has their own commitments, has their own responsibility. But, don't even fucking tell or say lecture people, is your own choice to commit, everyone also busy, but still can get everything done, do their part and why can't u?

BECAUSE I AM NOT THEM. I AM NOT EVERYBARDY. I M BLOODY HELL JEAN KUAH. 
I cannot do so many things ma. You have issue? So you think its fair to apply this theory on everyone? It's like telling a fat person, eh you cannot fat leh, because everybody skinny. ......
Maybe you ninja, you can, I cannot. 

And stop shooting me back in the heart or whatsoever, you can't take criticism you would never succeed as a designer. AND, did I say I want to be a designer? NO I DIDN'T. 
So what the fiak is wrong. If you had nothing better to do, get some guy to send a rocket down your ass or somewhere near, and enjoy your fucking time before you offend somebody else and gets beaten to death. 

Sorry if my scolding don't make sense or whatsoever. Too piss to make a sense out of the shit. 

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